


The Moonlit Magus And The Silver Sorcerer

by FactorialRabbits



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Modern AU, a pair of twins walk into a bar..., also minor Maglor and Maedhros, amras is an annoying little brother with a mobile phone, and the entire family needs to see this, brothers where you least expect them, but they're a handful of lines each, celegorm and curufin are a magical comedy act, needs more glitter, sequins glitter and all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 18:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15273966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FactorialRabbits/pseuds/FactorialRabbits
Summary: Amrod and Amras simply wanted to go to a bar, get drunk and have a laugh at some cheap stage performers. Fate, however, is a funny thing. Who knew Celegorm looked so good in sequins?A oneshot for Fëanorian Fun Bingo, for the prompt 'Unexpected Hobbies'





	The Moonlit Magus And The Silver Sorcerer

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is ridiculous, and what the rest of the brothers are up to around the time of New Year, New Idea - though the tone and style are completely different. This is probably the most outragous thing I'll be writing for a while. I was going to do something set in canon timeline, but then the idea of Curufin and Celegorm doing stand-up on the club scene occured to me. I ran with it, and it evolved into... Well, this.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Amrod and Amras were at a bar, a short way off the main clubbing district. They were there more as a way to entertain themselves than for the alcohol; the bar had promised a magic show this evening and, well, magic shows combined with cheap alcohol were always good for a laugh. A spot of googling hadn't revealed anything about the performers - a Silver Sorcerer and a Moonlit Magus - but their names sounded awful enough that even if it wasn't a comedy act, it should have been. 

Getting there a bit before the show, Amrod wandered off to buy the alcohol whilst Amras held their table. The bartender was pleasant enough, but not overly talkative. That was fine; Amrod would rather not stay close to the bar for long. Too many people pushing around. Quickly armed with a bottle of wine and two glasses, he returned to his twin. By this time the performers were preparing for their act, tweaking the microphone and hiding props about the small stage-like area. 

"Is that who I think that is?" Amras whispered, almost conspiratorially. 

Amrod turned to look properly, surprised to see Curufin step up onto the stage. He was dressed in a purple velvet tailcoat, with a top hat, and looked incredibly put out. A moment later, Celegorm followed. He was similarly dressed, and smiled as he twirled his silver hair. By the time his twin turned back to him, Amras had pulled out his phone. A quick glance at the screen showed he was recording this... Spectacle.

"Well, hello there ladies and gentlemen!" Celegorm had to lean down a little to reach the microphone. "I'm afraid my master here is a little short to be reaching the mic - so as well as his fabulous assistant, I'll also be his mouth for tonight!"

There was a mildly confused laugh from the patrons. Or at least, those of the patrons here for the show; there were at least three tables of men huddled around drinks and desperately trying to ignore the show. Was that an innuendo? It had been advertised as family friendly; technically that wouldn't change it, but it was obvious people were nervous enough. Almost certain he knew the performers very well, Amrod was utterly convinced the unsettled mood was completely intentional.

Amrod leaned over to Amras, "its Celegorm and Curufin, right? What are they doing here?"

Amras shrugged, "Do you think they noticed us?"

"I'd guess at no," Amrod took out his own mobile, and began to text their numerous relatives. Promising Amras' recording at the next opportunity.

Back up on the stage, Curufin was tugging Celegorm's sleeve with one hand, frowning and gesturing with the other.

"What was that, my illustrious master?" 

Celegorm made a show of leaning down, allowing Curufin close to his ear. Knowing his brothers as he did, Amrod could easily tell no words were passed; this was carefully and skillfully arranged. Also, Curufin did not look nearly as uncomfortable as he was acting - subtle cues in his posture showed him to be entirely comfortable, even as he huffed and scowled. And was Celegorm in stilettos?

Yes, very definitely stilettos.

"Ah, of course," Celegorm returned to the microphone. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, it appears my most eminent lord and master wishes to get started. So, may I introduce myself as The Silver Sorcerer - or, well, I will be if I ever finish my apprenticeship to this fine gentleman," sarcasm rolled off his tongue as naturally as he moved. "Who is, by the way, the one you're here to see! May I present to you all the one, the only Master of the Arcane Arts - The Moonlit Magus!"

The clapping was still confused, almost hesitant. But, well, even that seemed to cause Celegorm's grin to brighten. For all he was frowning, Curufin appeared to be having the time of his life too. 

"We return to here, our birthtown, after many years exploring the Darkness and stealing its secrets, bringing light to the void and learning the magical craft! Now! Allow us to awe and entertain you with all we have learnt!"

A flourishing bow as Curufin comedically timed foot tapping. A few exaggerated gestures were exchanged between the two, then they began.

"Oh, but of course, you're also here to witness my practical magic exam; so sorry if I'm doing more of the work than you really wanted me to be," a wink and a smug grin was transmitted from him to the audience.

They started normal and simple, Celegorm trying and failing tricks and Curufin rolling his eyes and repeating the act, but to absolute perfection. Once the audience worked out this doubled up as a comedy act, they seemed a lot more engaged, heckling and clapping at all the right - and wrong - moments.

Amras grinned at Amrod, and Amrod grinned back; they had made a very good choice of where to spend their evening. And, damn, Celegorm could play the crowd like a fiddle. Maglor was going to have to up his game.

\---

When Maedhros and Maglor arrived not long before the break in the show, it was to the sound of a rather drunk woman in the audience leaning on her boyfriend and yelling a marriage proposal in response to Celegorm's request for questions. He winked at her, laughed, and asked for questions about the show instead.

The two of them froze, bewildered by what they saw. Maedhros was the first to recover, looking into the bar to find Amras and raise an eyebrow in confused query. Amras grinned back, over his phone, whilst Amrod shrugged.

Maglor failed to recover before a rapid-fire costume change Curufin got up on a stool, hid Celegorm from view with a cloth, then dropped it. By the time it fell to the floor, Celegorm was in a suit made of little more than thread and silver sequins. A suit which opened in certain places and left very little to the imagination - whilst still technically fulfilling the requirements of family friendly. He then offered Curufin the sheet. Curufin nodded his acceptance; Celegorm held it up to hide him and dropped it. It revealed Curufin in exactly the same outfit as before, except now it was a lovely shade of burgundy.

Pitying his confused brothers more than his hysterically laughing twin, Amrod made his way over to his startled brothers, as Celegorm promised they'd be back to finish the show in a few minutes, but that they needed some drinks and a brush to clean up some streamers. Fire hazard, you see.

"Greetings! Didn't realise you'd be coming across for this," Amrod gave a small smile and a shrug. "Amras is recording it on his phone. Get drinks, join us at the table, they appear far too into this to notice us. Really, it’s a shame Caranthir’s left already. He’d have loved this."

The twins filled their eldest brothers in on the 'plot' of the show so far - a magician and his apprentice had once been swept into the Everlasting Dark, and had recently escaped, and now they were showing off the magic they picked up whilst worriedly checking they were about to get eaten by tiny darkness blobs. The plot was basically irrelevant to watching the two prat about on stage, strutting about as Curufin fixed Celegorm's intentionally awful magic tricks and sleights of hand. That was also explained.

Soon enough it was time for the second act. The eldest and youngest brothers laughed and chattered as their brothers performed trick after trick. Finally - it came to their last trick. It was, Celegorm claimed, his big, final, most practiced and glorious spell; he'd make the two of them vanish. He raised himself tall, waved his hands and spoke absolute gibberish. Then, he raised his arms to the sky and there was a loud poof. 

For a moment it appeared that nothing had happened. But, then, it became apparent that there was a floating, pitch black balloon - about the size of a basketball. Celegorm recoiled, screaming in fake horror and declaring to the crowd, "The Greater Orb of the Everlasting Darkness come to claim us at last, for our theft of its master's power! Oh, woe, alas, whatever shall we do?!"

"Moonlit Magus, can you fix it?" The crowd called - a little thing they'd picked up for every time Celegorm's tricks when wrong.

Quick as a flash Curufin drew a laser pointer, jumped into a vaguely heroic pose and pointed the laser pointer at the balloon. He gave a silent yell, face twisting in fury, and rapidly turned the pointer on and off. After 5 or 6 goes, the balloon burst into a thousand, glittery sparkles. 

Putting the pointer back in his pocket and nodding satisfied, Curufin linked his arm with Celegorm's and forced him into a bow. There was a puff of smoke, which blew some glitter onto the patrons of the bar. This time, they actually disappeared.

"Well," Maedhros sipped at his wine dramatically, swishing the glass for effect. "That was something."

Nobody missed the laugh in his eye as Amrod finished his recording, and emailed it around to the entire extended family - Granny Indis and all. Everyone needed to see this; it was good to see Curufin and Celegorm having so much fun, not to mention the recording's use as blackmail material.

"Shall we go wait for them backstage? I feel congratulations are in order?" Maglor suggested to the group, clapping his hands and smirking.

There were wicked smiles all around.

\---

When Curufin and Celegorm reappeared, still covered in glitter but dressed in more normal clothing, the four of their brothers were waiting.

"So, oh great and illustrious Moonlit Magus, and your fabulous assistant The Silver Sorcerer-" Amras threw his arms around their shoulders.

"You're dealing with this," Curufin immediately threw the arm away and stalked into the bathrooms. 

Everyone let him go, turning to Celegorm, "So... Would you believe we're just in it for the money?"

"My dear, darling brother. When has it ever been just about the money for you and him?"

Celegorm groaned, causing both the twins to erupt into hysterical laughter. The evening - completely worth it.


End file.
